He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
