It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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