just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
