I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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