My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
