Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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