i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
