my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
