how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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