I am in a vortex of obligation.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
