This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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