I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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