Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
