i don't like sucking hair
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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