Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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