Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
