Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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