On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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