Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
