By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
