In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
