can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
