I'm drive I can fine osifer
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
