she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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