Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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