Sry I called you an 8
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
