she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
