Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
