Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
