I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
