Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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