Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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