I've blown a few things in my day
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
