yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
