when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
