I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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