i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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