Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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