you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
