i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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