i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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