i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
