HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
