we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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