Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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