Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
