1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
