sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
