if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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