according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
