Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
no you cant smoke seaweed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
