Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
