I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
