That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
